Oh, can it be?
The voices calling me,
they get lost, and out of time…
I should’ve seen it glow,
but everybody knows
that a broken heart is blind
that a broken heart is blind…
The Black Keys - “Little Black Submarines”
It’s big, It’s flowy, It’s dark, yet girly! Love love love!
(Source: hautekills, via vogue-models)
Wanting to have total control over your mind is like wanting world peace
Ending hunger in third world counties
Stopping global warming,
Yes it is a waste of money to invest in that, the world is going to evaporate and we won’t be able to do a thing about it.
Anyway, I’m going off topic.
I’ve lost control of what I think, feel and want to say.
I feel so many positive things that one tiny, little indiscretion can throw it all away,
Toss it back into a closet.
Locking the door and tossing out the key.
This makes no sense but if you are in my mind it makes complete sense.
Hopefully you see this and can understand that my tattered emotions do have hope.
That they want to shine but they can be taken away with one phrase, one word even because subconsciously it’s like I can’t be happy.
I can fake a smile from here to LA, but I can’t escape what I feel in this constant battle to get my emotions in order.
I’m sorry
I’m sorry I can’t say this to you, I can’t bother you any longer.
You’ve put up with too much.
I love your kind spirit in taking me in and showing me that it is okay to ve happy and to just let go.
Hopefully this finds you and you find it and get another glimpse into what is my mind.
Dear Dad
My mind is in a good place right now,
I think I needed this,
I feel like you wanted this as much as you needed this.
It hurts to think that way,
but you give me few choices to think otherwise.
I want to love you and
I want to fight for you,
I want to hold you and
I want to feel wanted.
I need you to tell me you love me and
I need you to mean it!
I need your love dammit and
I don’t see why you can’t give it to me
I’m more screwed up emotionally
Because you can’t do something so simple!
Just fake it, I can be gullible enough
I can be gullible enough to accept your shit,
But why won’t you love me?
I find that i am searching for your love in all the wrong people
I think I want this person to love me and i want to love him one day
But i can’t seem to do that until i know,
Until i can feel in some way that you really did care, that i really DO matter!
And even when you tell me that you don’t
That you don’t love me
That you can’t love me
That you have been gone for so long that you don’t get why I’m still looking for your love
I will simply tell you that
I love you
I forgive you
Then and only then
Will I be able to let you go
Until then I will continue to ask you,
Ask you subliminally and hope to god you see me reaching out to you,
Why won’t you love me?
Do you love me?
Have you ever loved me?
Because I want to love you and
I want to fight for you,
I want to hold you and
I want to feel wanted……
